This is what you Call "Hard" News

An Oregon woman who had $500 worth of sex toys stolen from the trunk of her sedan says she felt extremely embarrassed having to list the missing items to a police officer. So, naturally, her next stop was the local news.

"It was horrible," Chelsey Coutts told Portland's Fox affiliate KPTV. "[The officer] kind of started laughing, but he felt bad so he asked me to describe everything in detail, and it was just horrible."

"I've been storing it in my trunk because I have two little ones and didn't want them to see all the dirty things in there," she said. "Lots of toys, blow-up items, all kinds of goodies."

Among the lifted toys: A 4-foot inflatable penis and some "penis straws." 

Let's go to the video of the KPTV story: 

H/T Gawker